Even that knife in the back

would be better than this

for now I have to live

the rest of my life

pierced by the feeling of this.

She was

moonlight,

kind and bright,

rueful smiles,

weary eyes,

late nights,

tear-stained cheeks,

gentle touches,

loud laughter,

light words,

dark mind yet soft soul,

written word,

poet by birth,

sing-song voice,

dreamer to the point of no return.